There are times when we just flat don't understand what God is up to. We pray, pray, pray and some situations seem to stay the same. For example, maybe you are in a painful place and you've cried out to God over and over and things seem the same. Or, maybe you have been praying for someone dear to you to have a breakthrough. The more you pray, the more it seems that person is in bondage. What do we do with situations like these? Well, some people conclude that God is not listening or paying attention. Others may conclude that he doesn't care about us personally. You see, I find in confusing times like these mentioned, what is really revealed is what we TRULY believe about Jesus.
I can totally relate to the questions that pop up in our heads; the doubts, fears, and sadness. I am human and I experience an array of emotions daily. However, whether I crumble under them or not depends on my core belief about my Savior. I can feel disappointed in God's final decision pertaining to a situation and still feel a deep peace that He knows whats going on. It boils down to this: Do I truly believe God loves me?
I admit there have been many times I wondered if He loved me personally. I mean I believed generally that He loved humans because He created them. However, me personally was a different story. This deep-seated belief that God really didn't love me greatly affected everything in my life. When something bad happened I assumed that it was because it was "just me" and I haven't accomplished alot nor been a "mighty woman of God" as I have heard others described. See, I had trouble receiving God's love for me. I still had the mindset that I would have to "earn" the special love that God gave others! Really?? Satan had me deceived! Satan knew if I couldn't receive how much God loves me then I would remain in that paralyzed state of insecurity, disbelief, and fear. In other words, I was benched..on the sidelines....out of the game....out of the battle!! God's love for us is a gift and it must be received! He loves us period. This love is not something we have to earn. This love is not just for the successful, the beautiful, and the famous. It's for you and me! In Romans 8 we are told that NOTHING will separate us from God's love for us. We are ALWAYS loved by our Heavenly Father; even on those days we feel like miserable failures.
I can already hear some of you saying, "Oh, so I can do anything I want and God's just sitting up there with a big smile on His face?" Now, I want to ask you something; do you love your children? Do they ever do anything that disappoints you or makes you mad? Does that change your love for them? Of course not!! On the other hand, sometimes the choices our children make do hinder our fellowship with them. You see, when we receive (really receive and believe in our heart) God's love for us, then and only then we can start really loving Him back! Our hearts began to WANT to do things that please Him when we receive His unchanging strong love for us.
Today you may be going through a very hard time. Maybe you are dealing with an addiction or you are in a lonely marriage. Maybe your last baby left home or you feel you have missed God's calling for your life. Maybe you feel that God is ignoring your prayers for your prodigal son or daughter. Maybe you feel that He is ignoring your request for a financial breakthrough. Wherever you find yourself today, I want to encourage you to stop and ask yourself: Do I really believe and receive God's personal love for me? Do I really believe He wants the best for me? If you don't, take the time to talk with God. Tell him everything (He already knows how you really feel) and repent for believing your feelings over HIS word. Ask Him to open your eyes to the ways He loves you and to help you start receiving His love deep in your heart. It's when we line up our belief's with God's Word, that we can start receiving His wonderful, unending, unconditional love for us personally! Oh how freeing it is to realize that the God of the universe, who is in control of everything, loves us and is true to His Word.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God